Derby Dilemma...

Here I lay on the floor, unable to get up without pain, unable to sneeze without pain, unable to cough without pain...seven years later and I'm not ready to give it up. Slamming my body against the concrete floor, the wood floor, the sports court...being pounded by other bodies. These are the days I wonder how much longer I can do this. My mind and my competitive side says "I must go on, continue...for the love of the game." But, over the last eight days I've had pain, I've had massages, I've soaked in a bath tub and in a jacuzzi, I've seen a physical therapist three times and cut down my activity to almost nothing. "These are the days that try men's souls"...my soul! I can't see life without roller derby. But, I must admit out loud, during times like the past week, I'm wondering how much the pounding is doing to my body, or the concussion a few years back, the torn ACL, the broken collarbone, the shoulder tightness, the lower back pain, the bruises...I'm not ready, my brain is not ready, dang it! I am not ready. Pass me the aspirin, hand me my skate bag, I gotta get to practice!