25 years and still going, even if...

I've had ups and downs during my sports broadcasting career. There have been a bunch of "not so nice" guys and a handful of awesome and supportive guys. Not many women have crossed my path over that time in sports radio and TV. The few with whom I have worked have stayed in touch; often we've become friends. Some of the closest allies in my work and in my life have come from this business. But, I would be lying if I said it was ever easy. I'd be lying if I said I would automatically recommend this career to any young females. Certainly things have changed since the late 1980s when I began... but how much? I don't know. From my perspective, you've got to be ready to hear horrible things, be in uncomfortable surroundings, and feel left out of the clique or group or club. Still, if this is what you really want to do with your life, then you've got to go for it and go big. Know more than anyone in the room. Be more prepared than anyone else around. Stay professional no matter how hard it gets. And, always dress conservatively. You'll want to stand up for yourself and protect your integrity, but there will be times when your patience is tested, when your credibility is questioned and when you just want to haul up and punch a boy in the face. But... but... but...if you can get by without losing your cool under pressure, you CAN do this. I 'm proof of that. I've been at it for 25 years. It all began in Syracuse, NY at a student-run sports department inside an NPR station on the campus of Syracuse University. And my days there were some of the worst I experienced. Why is this coming up? Why do I mention this now? Because recently one of my male colleagues made a mistake...a big one. I didn't hear it; I haven't listened to it. Who am I to judge? I know one thing. He's not the only one to say something controversial or offensive. But, if we find the lesson in the mistake, the blessing in the experience and something good to come out of it, we've grown. I don't agree with what he said, but my feelings aren't hurt. I learned about that long ago.

The Joy of Being a FAN!

It never fails sometimes along the way, in the business of sports media/TV/radio/journalism/entertainment, we are told "be objective," "be fair," "be opinionated, but, don't root for a certain team," or "you can't have a favorite team." I disagree completely! Being a "fan" is what got me interested in this career more than 30 years ago. Having my teams win gives me a lot of enjoyment. I've continued to do my best to be objective, when necessary. I have fun with the way I talk about the teams I don't love because of my loyalty to my favorite teams. But, it's all for the love of the game and for the entertainment and sense of humor I try to have every time I turn on the microphone. Because as much as we love it, it's only sports, it's not life, it's not death, it's not disease or hunger. For now, I am having a bunch of fun, extra fun, because my team is still in it, and even has a chance to win it all. The Dodgers have had a rough rough few years recently, mainly, because of bad ownership! I must say, my life has been a struggle at times too, this year especially, but The Dodgers are helping me along. The Blue team that I have been loyal to for over 40 years is here for me, as my escape, as my happy moment as my joy each day. For those out there who have spent their professional years trying to be objective, I'm sorry. What do you turn to, as your escape when times are tough? For me, that time is now and it is the L.A. Dodgers! Thank you Magic Johnson, Stan Kasten and Guggenheim baseball, you have officially brought back the energy to Dodger Stadium. "From the South Bay to the valley, from the west side to the east side, Everybody's very happy, 'Cause the sun is shining all the time, it looks like another perfect day, I love L.A."

Derby Dilemma...

Here I lay on the floor, unable to get up without pain, unable to sneeze without pain, unable to cough without pain...seven years later and I'm not ready to give it up. Slamming my body against the concrete floor, the wood floor, the sports court...being pounded by other bodies. These are the days I wonder how much longer I can do this. My mind and my competitive side says "I must go on, continue...for the love of the game." But, over the last eight days I've had pain, I've had massages, I've soaked in a bath tub and in a jacuzzi, I've seen a physical therapist three times and cut down my activity to almost nothing. "These are the days that try men's souls"...my soul! I can't see life without roller derby. But, I must admit out loud, during times like the past week, I'm wondering how much the pounding is doing to my body, or the concussion a few years back, the torn ACL, the broken collarbone, the shoulder tightness, the lower back pain, the bruises...I'm not ready, my brain is not ready, dang it! I am not ready. Pass me the aspirin, hand me my skate bag, I gotta get to practice!

Famous misbehaving young people...

Back from a fantastic and relaxing vacation and I feel I must send a quick note to "Tongue out yo mouth Miley" and Manzie Panzie...Grow up! You are not that special. You may be able to play football extremely well, or have a famous last name, but you are not changing the world or saving any lives with your craft! I'd like to look at this from a different perspective. Because, I think we, as a society, are asking for this crap, aren't we? In the hours, days, months and years now of reality TV, TMZ, and photographers tracking people's every move...isn't this what people wanted? Doesn't the fascination with under-educated, ignorant, stupid people in Hollywood warrant the types of behavior we're seeing from our young people recently? Some folks in the public eye automatically think they can act however they'd like with no consequences. Talented athletes, singers, actors often get special treatment beginning pretty darn early in their careers. Maybe that's because a majority of our population forgot how to discipline their children. We've all seen it show up somewhere in our families, at our friends houses, on school campuses and out in public. Kids mouthing off at their parents with no punishment, talking back to managers, teachers, police officers and constantly disrespecting each other all over the darn social media outlets. If we continue to give spoiled, highly entitled and socially ignorant young people so much attention, shame on us! When we make them feel like the most important part of society, which they ARE NOT, this will remain the norm. I don't like the direction our youth is headed; in fact, just recently one of my high school interns cussed at me in front of a guest visiting the ESPN studio. If we back off on the amount of attention we give these mediocre people then, maybe that will help curb this behavior. Parents can you please help STOP the MADNESS!!! Am I crazy to think the threat of a bare handed spanking on the bottom coming back might help? Or is that child abuse? Because right now, I feel like we're in the midst of adult abuse!

CrossFit...OMGoddess

When I walked into CrossFit Five Cities nearly six months ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I dropped in to talk business with Chad Franco the owner and head trainer. We agreed I should try it out for a few months before I decide to form an opinion. Sort of like me and my talk show. I constantly say give me a few weeks before you decide you hate me. I grow on you. Safe to say, Chad Franco and his C5 "box" have grown on me. In fact, it's become a very important part of my life and my cross training for roller derby. It has truly changed my body and outlook on fitness. I consider myself an athlete. People that know me might say I'm competitive, sometimes to a fault. CrossFit has changed everything, for the better. It's cardio, strength training, mobility and flexibility. But, most of all for me, it has put my competitive edge and ego in check and on hold until I learn EVERYTHING. I recommend CrossFit Five Cities to anyone; all fitness levels and all sized exercisers. You can come to C5 and get a fantastic workout, and that's it, or you can come to C5 and have a life altering experience. I know I did. I walked in a confident derby skater with, I thought, pretty good conditioning. The truth set me free and now I know I have a long way to go before I could even consider competing in a CrossFit games. But, I also know, my fitness level is changing, my attitude is changing, most of all my awareness about my body has changed. A component you wouldn't expect is the team atmosphere as well. Not a workout goes by where someone isn't cheering somebody else on 'til the clock stops. It's a community, building itself around true health and fitness. CrossFit is not just a trend, it is here to stay and I am grateful to have entered the glass door at CrossFit Five Cities. Because now I know I will become the best and most well conditioned athlete I could ever be!

Refreshing, in a time when human conversations are rare in my biz...

I've been doing this sports radio thing for a long long time! It's changed, people have changed, communication has changed, even I have changed. I USUALLY don't want to be that person who says "when I was younger..." or "back when I started in this business..." But, today, I must! In the late 1980's, when there were less than 10 sports talk radio shows in the country people returned our phone calls. There were no emails, no Facebook, no Twitter, no texting, no nationwide internet. All we had were telephones and FAX machines for communicating. SportsTicker, AP and UPI were our only means of researching for our shows. So today, I celebrate a rare occurrence. Yesterday, it was a normal working Monday, I got a returned phone call from an NFL Media Relations guy. Not only did Will Kiss from the Oakland Raiders return my phone call, but, he did it the very SAME day that I left him a phone message. And, even better, he said he could and would help me. My heart feels different about one of our local professional football teams. I am grateful today for my refreshing experience with Will. Over the next couple weeks when I talk with the Raider player or GM Reggie McKenzie on my show, it won't just be an interview, but it will be the result of human contact...PRICELESS! Thank you WK, you are a gentleman of our game!

Shooting too close to home...

Ugh!!! I'm standing outside the auditorium where my niece is about to have her dance show. Walking in a familiar neighborhood, one I've been in hundreds of times. My dad played football in the stadium on this street. I walked the hallways enrolled as a student in these buildings. I learned how to do football play by play in the seats of Corsair Stadium. Just a few years ago I was here to celebrate the 50 year anniversary of SMCC football's undefeated season. For a moment it all comes together for me. I'm across the street from Santa Monica College. This is home to me, and a couple days ago someone intentionally killed people in this neighborhood and on this campus. All I did was drive down to Santa Monica to see my niece's dance recital and BAM!...this is part of my experience. What's the lesson in this for me, I wonder. This isn't supposed to happen, anywhere, but especially not in my hometown. Everyone feels this way when a tragedy strikes their hood. Now that I've been through this recent tragedy, I'm even more sure that it happening close to home makes the wound deeper, more personal and more painful. There isn't a place in this country, or in this world, that this should be allowed to happen. I'm mad, I'm sad and I'm confused. What can we do to keep our people safe, on our streets, in our neighborhoods, in our football stadiums, in our classrooms, in our libraries, and on our sidewalks? I don't have a solution right now. But, I know we must, as a community, as a society find a way to stop this mess. This is not acceptable behavior, no matter what or who you would like to place blame upon. We must STOP THE MADNESS! I'm standing here, across the street. I see caution tape, news vans and news reporters, I don't like it, not at all!

Losing a child...

My 11 year old nephew Tanner passed away on Saturday May 18th. He'd been sick since September of last year. The time flew by, it was too quick for anyone. My heart feels so much pain, for myself, but much more significantly for my brother, my niece, my sister in law and my parents. I've felt sadness before in my life, many many times. Lost friendships, broken promises, relationships ending, career disappointments...sadness comes in all shapes and sizes. But, nothing, nothing I have experienced is worse than this type of pain...losing a child. Tanner had only lived for 11 short years. My divorce in 2009 was pretty darn horrible, sad for the lifetime commitment to break down. I thought I'd be married forever, but we weren't the right match. I was sad then, really sad, it hurt like hell. But, it was a different type of pain, we chose it. This pain, nobody chooses. There are lessons and blessings in everything...in grief we all grow and learn through the healing process. Yes, all true, but so clearly a jumble of cliches. These logical and rational thought patterns all nicely expressed, but to live them, really? It's a bunch of crap, just an all around messed up part of life. During these past 11 days I have experienced a full range of emotions, thoughts and feelings. Today seems to be the clearest day of them all. Clear that my friggin' heart hurts...BAD! Nothing can fix it...time will heal it...don't force it...learn from it. What if I don't want to???

Cycling...

I've spent fun times at the finish line in Downtown San Luis Obispo, watching and covering the Tour of California. I interviewed the top riders and enjoyed the experience of professional cycling. I had never been so close to the action, and it was a thrill, each time! Before the Tour my only history with cycling was following Lance Armstrong for years. I read both of his books. I cheered for him through his battle with cancer. I used his story and life as inspiration for my own physical challenges, my first marathon in 1997 and a 10-mile uphill trail challenge, that same year. I looked up to him. Whether you agree with it or not, he was a hero to me. He has helped the world in many ways with his commitment to fighting cancer and researching the best medicines, cures, etc. Ok, that's the good part, now the sad news. It has changed for me. I don't follow cycling like I used to; the drugs in the sport and Armstrong turned me off. You can argue, everybody cheats, all sports deal with performance enhancers...yada, yada, yada. That doesn't matter to me. I get to be the type of fan I want to be, for any or all sports. It's affecting me this week because the Tour is in town this afternoon. I want to go, I don't want to go. I would like to find a new rider to cheer, an honest & clean team that does it right. But, I don't know when and if we'll get that in this sport. The amount of mileage and stress on the body to ride the way these people do, is incredible. I guess, I sort of understand why a lot of them feel they need medical/chemical assistance to do it and do it well. No matter, my heart isn't beating for the sport as it has in the past. And everybody appreciates a good heartbeat, right?

Looking for something positive...

Waking up this morning after a long three weeks in my own life, but an even longer seven days for our world. Feeling relieved in my own space, but heart felt pain for so many others. Those in Boston, those who love someone in Boston, what can we do from this far away? How can we help, support and honor those on the east coast? We send thoughts, prayers and healing light. But, it doesn't feel like enough. I walk around now with you in my heart!!! I remember when I was live on the air during 9/11, I remember when Katrina hit the gulf coast, I remember Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, this is just as horrible. I hate this feeling. It's helpless, and at times hopeless. I know I can find something positive, but not right now. I'm always searching for that, even in the worst of times when the worst of things happen. I'm looking forward to a better week for us all. I plan to enjoy life more now, love stronger, give more often and make each moment mean something. I will be cherishing my friendships, my family and myself so much more now. I vow to work more towards my goals and dreams. I promise to be the best sister, daughter, aunt and friend I am capable of being!

Jackie, Let's Celebrate, Honor and Remember #42!!!!

Wow, each year at this time I get giddy, excited and a bit melancholy. I want to spend the days leading up to April 15th, Jackie Robinson Day in MLB cheering and remembering! This year it's a little extra special. A Biopic of Jackie's life opens in theaters tomorrow nationwide. I haven't anticipated a movie this much, EVER in my life. Part of me wants to go to a local theater and camp out, awaiting the very first show at 12:40pm tomorrow! I know I'd be the only person there, but maybe it would get some media attention, anything to keep his legacy alive. Anything to teach the kids about a guy that truly CHANGED the world through sports. "42" opens tomorrow, I'll be at that first show, with a group of people, smiling, laughing, crying, cheering and remembering Jackie Robinson. A man who integrated not only baseball; he started something and he stuck it out, even when it was almost too painful to handle. He broke the color barrier with the Brooklyn Dodgers on April 15, 1947. He tolerated years of verbal and physical abuse. His family tolerated years of verbal abuse as well. Every single child in this country needs to know what he did for people of color in this nation. He broke into baseball years before even schools were desegregated. The military was even just integrating soldiers into regimes around our country. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, Jackie Robinson did more for this country and the civil rights movement than any of us. That came from MLK!!! He has a national holiday in his honor every January. I vote for a national holiday for JR42, and I will spend the rest of my life working to get Jackie Robinson a holiday, to get Jackie Robinson on a postage stamp and and to keep his memory alive. I ask you, I challenge you to share his legacy with young people. Please, let's all continue to tell his story and help keep the conversation going, it will make us all better people. He's left me that gift and I'd like to offer it to you. Jackie Robinson died waaaaay to young at the age of 53, but his memory and story will remain alive forever! Hip Hip Hooray for JR42!!!

Lakers are #8 right now...

So sad to see such a talented group of NBA players, the Lakers, who can't seem to find a way to work together as a team. Shouldn't the game itself be the most important? Shouldn't winning at all cost be the motto? Since when is the money, the ego and the reputation more important than winning as a team? Basketball is a team sport. These are grown-ups who just don't have the cohones to make it happen. They just can't seem to put their own boyish attitudes on the side to play like a real team and win some basketball games. I guess when you bring in the negative energy of Ron Artest and try to pretend he's changed, you're already asking for trouble. He's a sham. There is such a thing as non verbal communication. He brought his history and his bad attitude to the Lakers. Yes, he's a talented player, but he's not healed and he's not true in his recovery. Just watch him. And, as much as I'm not a fan of Kobe the man, I am a fan of Kobe the player. Even he sees through the Artest facade. Then the Dwight Howard situation just escalates this to another level. Where's Derek Fisher when you need a solid adult attitude around to keep the kids in line. I may sound naive, but I don't remember the NBA players of the 80's and 90's being such jerks to fans, media or each other. Stop blaming the coach and bring back the old skool attitude and work ethic!

Kobe....Michael...oh so different!!!

It's so easy for people to blurt out how much they'd rather have Kobe than Michael leading their perfect NBA team. Some would say Kobe is the best to ever play the game. You are wrong. Let's not forget what MJ did for the game, for the city of Chicago and for the players around him. He was amazing and at times unstoppable! The most important part of his game, to me, was his ability to be unselfish and PASS the ball. We don't see that type of passing much in the NBA as it is today. He wasn't the nicest guy, he was tough on his teammates at practice and in games. He never gave up and tried to instill his work ethic into others. He was a bully sometimes too. If he thought his teammates weren't giving 100% he let them know it. But, in his mind, all along, was his will to win and his ability to give up the ball at times, if it meant winning. He learned so much of his talents and skills from a guy named Dean Smith. Jordan went to college @ North Carolina after high school. There he played for one of the best coaches in the history of the game. This is the monumental difference, Kobe never had that. You can say a lot of the same things about Bryant that I just did about MJ. But, and this is a big BUT, he went straight into the NBA from high school. He missed the whole 'Dean Smith' step in his life. The argument will continue for years, but the facts will remain the same. Kobe missed the part of his life where he would have learned character, dignity, integrity and values. Yes, our parents are responsible for this qualities. But, in sports the rules are a little different. Coaches and Athletic Administrators do have a part in the building of these young athletes, just as teachers do. We can't blame bad behavior on parents, teachers or coaches. But, we can give them credit when an athlete or kid finds the right path to travel. When we look back at Jordan's career and Kobe's career, we will see a bunch of similarities. But, Kobe missed a significant part of life by jumping straight to the NBA. Whatever side you're on, it sure is a great discussion.

Why so much drama???

I sit around lately, ok, no I'm not usually sitting. Truthfully, I'm hiking, running, skating, or walking when I think most of the time. Why don't athletes spend more time being people of high morals or character? Why isn't there more focus put into their training regime at all levels, high school, college, and professional; on integrity, honesty, health and reputation? Is winning and making huge money more important than the kind of person we become? More important than the image we portray? More important than our CHARACTER? Marion Jones, Lance Armstrong, Pete Rose, Barry Bonds, Tonya Harding, A-Rod, Manti Te'o, Chinese gymnasts, Bill Belichick, Tim Donaghy, Ben Johnson, John Calipari, Rosie Ruiz, Danny Almonte, Donald Crowhurst... These are the first that come to mind. But, it's not about those folks specifically, it's about what we're teaching our young people. I'm not a parent nor an educator. But, I give a crap about what our children become and how our world will look to them later. If we gave less attention to unintelligent people who'll do ANYTHING to get ahead and more on the ones that teach our children life's lesson about truth, honesty, character and respect, wouldn't our world be that much better? Maybe it sounds Pollyanna, or too idealistic, maybe even like a dreamer. But, but, but, I'd rather live this way, without desperation for success. Cheating, lying, or hurting others should NEVER have a reward or payoff. I'm afraid for our world when we give so much attention to the negative, the crime, the dark. Where did we go wrong when we started worshipping the winners only or the richest only or the "best" only, the Hilton's, Lohan's, Kar-somethings? Reality TV is poisoning our youth. The reality of our sports stars is poisoning our youth. Irresponsible TV and movies are poisoning our youth! When oh when will we stop the MADNESS??? I'll answer my own question...when our heroes become our parents, uncles, aunts, neighbors, teachers...REAL people. Here's to my true hero...my mom, Renee!!! And some props to my sports hero, Jackie Robinson who would have turned 94 years old on January31st!!!

Ah a new year...

Seems like I wasn't in touch for a bit. I wasn't. Planning our new show time slot...Wednesday nights at 7pm on ESPN Radio 1280am. Yeah! New time, new day, same big name guests, same crazy fun, same local angles and even more listeners!!! Life has taken some turns the past few weeks and it's been good, sometimes bad. I honor the challenges and struggles, knowing it makes me fuller and stronger...even a bit more interesting, at least to a few. I'm excited about what 2013 brings, in work and in life. The CJ Silas Show is growing and working towards syndication this year. I couldn't do it without my loyal and supportive partners: Community VW of Santa Maria, Dr Brad Kurgis Dermatology, Lido Restaurant @ The Dolphin Bay Resort & Spa, Brian Wampler & the staff @ Star Automotive, Dentists Daniel Lapidus & Larry Ackerman, Tim Holt at Preservation Capital, G Brothers Smokehouse, El Rancho Marketplace, Chiropractor William Baird, Mike Brabanac and Billy Gibbs of Golf Talk Radio on ESPN Radio 1280am. You are all awesome and have been with me through the first nine months of The CJ Silas Show. We will continue on this journey together, beginning this Wednesday January 9th at our new time, 7pm!!! Please, follow me on Twitter @cjsilas and find me on FB, C.j. Silas. Cheers!